Managing finances is a very sensitive area in marriage. Statistics show that 90% of marriages fail because of failure to manage finances responsibly. Many words have been said, lots of advice have been extended, and various ways were suggested in order to manage money. Yet, the question remains, how should we manage it? And, when one manages it, how can the other one trust the other partner?
Before answering that question, you have to embrace the fact that when you tied the knot, two of you become one. What are yours become your spouse’s possessions too. You cannot divide your properties and limit each other to specific properties that you want to share then keep what you don’t want to share inside your locker.
However, in reality, what’s happening is otherwise. One or even both are hiding some of these properties from each other. Most common is hiding the money. In this post, I will share 10 ways on how to catch your spouse hiding money. These ways are not meant to harm any relationship. Instead, may these serve as precautions so you won’t encounter bigger problems in the future.
Tip #1: When you don’t Know How Much the Salary Is
You never get to see the paycheck or any salary record. Yes you know the job, the company, and the position. However, you keep on guessing how much the salary is. Being the spouse, it is your right to know how much the salary is. This information should be provided voluntarily since you are under the law of having conjugal properties.
Tip #2: When you don’t Know Where the Wallet Is
This is the most common act of hiding. You can’t see the wallet anywhere; even if you searched pockets, bags, cabinets, and drawers, it is nowhere to be found. Surprisingly, the only time you see the wallet is when it is being held.
Tip #3: When you can’t See Bills Coming
If you are at home, you will definitely mailers for utility bills, credit card statements, insurance papers, and other monthly payables. Note that most of the companies have this “green projects” where they give option to their subscriber to receive bills electronically. If you don’t receive your bills at home, most probably these are sent in your spouse’s email. There should be no issue on that except for not being informed of the set-up. Is your spouse hiding some information?
Tip #4 Bill payment well in advance
Apart from not being able to receive bills at home, all payables are paid in advance. Again, there should be no issue with this. Actually, this is a good sign of being able to manage finances. However, if you’re left guessing what happened to the bills if were they paid or not, this is where the issue comes.
Tip #5 You Talk about Anything under the Sun Except for Money
Communication is vital in every marriage. Being wed means being one. Walls between the two of you should be broken. All aspects of life should be discussed. All decisions should be made together even in finances. If you do not touch the topic of finances, then there’s a problem. Even if everything is doing well, you should talk about your money.
Tip #6 When all are Provided in Kind
How sweet it is if you will just be provided with all that you need and even all that you want. During paydays, your spouse will arrive with a bag full of groceries and items needed for the household. All the things that you will use are already provided at your doorstep. These are all good but you also have to ask why. Why can’t you be the one to withdraw money from the ATM and buy these things?
Tip # 7 You have a Standard Monthly Cash Allowance, No More, No Less
Again, this can be a subtle way of hiding something from you. Instead of discussing the budget, the expenses, the salary, and other financial plans, you are given a certain amount month per month. Even if you don’t ask for it, your spouse is constantly giving it to you. Can’t you be the one to decide and get the money from the bank?
Tip # 8 Purchases are all via Credit Card or Check
Your spouse does not carry cash when you go out on a date, buy groceries, watch a movie, or shop at the mall. All purchases are done via credit card or check. If this is happening, you need to start questioning. Are all cash spent already, in the bank, or somewhere?
Tip # 9 You Found Out some Undisclosed Businesses
Whether the business was acquired before you were wedded, it is your right to know what business your spouse is into. Whether it is doing well or not, you still need to know. If at the middle of something, you found out that there are undisclosed information such as this, you have to talk to your spouse.
Tip #10 If everything above fail
If after all your attempts to talk to your spouse failed, then there is really something wrong going on. It’s either you face or elevate this to your marriage counselor. I would say do not take the situation lightly, you should seek external help. If you let your spouse continue your marriage will suffer ultimately one day.
Most of the tips are not exactly issues, they are mostly good financial practices. Advance payments, providing your needs without you asking for them and provision of allowances are all manifestations of good money management. However, if all are only managed by your spouse alone, then it becomes suspicious sometimes The key here is communication. Your spouse should communicate, disclose, and declare all financial sources, assets, and liabilities. These information should be given voluntarily, without you asking for it.
Readers, how do you handle your finances at home? Want to share some tips with other readers?