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Sad to say, many people lose self-esteem because of some unsolicited mishaps that happened. A bad experience from another person can be a ground too in losing self-esteem. Even our own self can be a culprit why up to now we cannot confidently face people. These are all because we tend to swim in the ocean of pessimism for long that we can no longer gasp for air until we drown.
Self-esteem as the word implies must come from within. Yes, we may anchor it from other people, things, or circumstances. However, if our own self won’t cooperate and continue to put our self down, we will head nowhere.
In this post, I want to share some guidelines on where to anchor your self-esteem, how to maintain it, and eventually increase it.
- Know Your Strengths
If you know what you can do, you will be confident to carry yourself wherever you are or whoever you are talking to. Always make a confirmation of your capabilities. Stop looking at others’ strength. Doing this will make you discover that there are lots of people better than you are and this will just lower your self-esteem. Instead, capitalize on your own strength and make the most out of it.
- Know Your Limitations
Same way, you need to know where your limits are. You need to assess and identify your weaknesses. Remember that having weaknesses must not pull you down. Everybody has their own sets of limitations. The important of knowing your limits is to prevent future circumstances that will lessen your confidence. If you know that you are about to reach you limits, stop and switch to an avenue where you could showcase your strengths.
- Believe that You are Important
Do you know that all of us are important? I strongly believe that you won’t exist in this world without a purpose. Hitting that purpose will build that high self-esteem. If you know that you exist for a purpose and what you are doing is according to that purpose, then you are on the right track. To increase your self-esteem in life, you need to live and not just exist.
- Make Yourself Presentable
Never believe when people say that physical appearance does not matter. Your physical appearance is your gateway to other people. As the saying goes, “First impression lasts.” Make sure that you wear presentable clothes, act in proper postures, and communicate with sense. The best thing is for you to make people admire you even without you speaking.
- Mingle with the Right Kind of People
Who you are with speaks of who you are too. Surround yourself with people who can give positive influences. These people have the highest self-esteem. Optimism connotes confidence. If you continue to mingle with the pessimists or with timid people, you are most likely to be at one with them and this won’t help building your self-esteem.
- Grab a Motivator or a Mentor
In our lives, it is best that we get a mentor. A mentor does not have to be paid. He could be someone from your family, from work, from the church, or even from the internet. The principle behind this is the same as mingling with the right kind of people. Your mentor will boost your moral and will bring out the best in you always. Just make sure you spend time with your mentor regularly.
- Read, Research, Study
Many failed because they overestimated their knowledge. Regardless how good you are, you must always read, review, and study whatever you are in. Let’s say you are about to speak to a group of people, make sure you have your notes with you. It is not a battle of memorization and pretention that you are the master of your craft. In a week, allocate a time for studies.
- A Pat on Your Shoulder
Gaining a pat on our shoulder especially from people we admire could be the ultimate proof of our accomplishments. While it is not always happening, make sure you feel and contemplate those moments you received a pat on your shoulder from your boss, mentor, friend, teacher, and from other people you look up to. Having a recollection of those moments will help you attain a better self-esteem.
- Celebrate Your Milestones
Of course you need to celebrate your milestones. Whether it’s small or big, celebrate it. Write them down, post them on your wall, celebrate with your loved ones, or announce it to the public. Self-esteem is built within this long list of accomplishments.
- Chin Up!
There is no better way to increase self-esteem but to chin up, smile, and say that everything will be fine. Backed up with all the reminders listed, you are on your way to the top.
Readers, my self-esteem recently took a beating, the reason being my over-confidence in understanding others. Sometimes it hurt when you forget your limits and fail to restrain yourself. You go over the limit and you’ll suffer, which may in-turn cause a self-esteem loss.
I am getting over it slowly, each day and learned my lesson. What would you suggest we do to enhance our self-esteem?
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Good post. I know a few people who don’t seem to realize or cultivate their strengths.
What about you Carole, are you playing with your strengths and trying to be stronger in those?
Great stuff! It is very important for us to know our worth for us to be able to increase our self-esteem. It is also very important to know ourselves better to be able to acknowledge our capabilities and limitations.
That’s right. only if we start respecting ourselves we can expect others to do the same.
Good points! I think one of the most important one is being with the right people. I stay away from negative people because it does nothing for you.
That’s a key Larry. Even at work you’ll get some boss hater, for no reason they hate bosses simply because that gut assigns tasks. Don’t be with them, form your own judgement and move on.
That’s very good way to build up confidence. Also we can make small and achievable daily goals which may increase our productivity and also build up self-confidence.
I try to find at least a couple of things that I did well during the day, every day. It can be as insignificant as chores or as important as a job assignment or a meeting.
And remember that most criticism is not personal, it is other people seeing their own failures in your and empathizing them to make them feel better.
I didn’t know that you love writing about personal growth, SB! Personal growth is also a passion for me besides personal finance. In fact, I think that you can’t be good with your money unless you learn how to live a simple life first by learning that happiness comes from within.
Shilpan, I wrote quiet a few posts on personal improvement. If you see the “beautiful Life” section, you may get some other such article. I scanned through your old blog ‘successoul’ it has many power packed articles.
Yes you need to enjoy money and put it in to good use once you start making money, money is a mean to become richer, monetarily, emotionally and socially.
In the words of Dr. Phil you teach people how to treat you. If you don’t have self confidence and a sense of self worth people won’t respect you. Keep telling yourself “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me” eventually it’ll sink it.
Correct use of words Mandy, you are absolutely right. When you tell yourself repeatedly about you being good, brain perhaps gets adjusted to that feeling. History says every great person had a childhood belief that they were better than others.
I’m really hoping that more people increase their self-esteem. This way, there would be less bitterness, less jealousy, and less haters. I’m seeing it a lot more online now against the Yakezie and against some Challengers just b/c we’ve grown tremendously. If they can just focus on being positive about themselves, all would be better!
I seriously don’t understand those sadistic (if it’s the right word) pleasures. How can someone feel better by putting someone else down?
Nice post. All are great points. The one that I liked particularly is “Mingle with right kind of people’. I guess this tip should be on the top.
I think all points are equally relevant, it’s not ordered as per relevance. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I believe you are a product of your environment, whether growing up or currently. Another tip would be to exercise and eat proper as well.
These are great tips. Self Esteem is something I have always struggled with. I am getting better but I am still pretty hard on myself,.
What a great post! I definitely believe you have to focus on all of your positives, and of course try to work on your negatives. Instead of whining and wishing things would change, the best solution is to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes, and use it to improve your life!
Another good way to increase self-esteem is to HELP OTHERS achieve their goals.
“God helps him who strives hard.”
Euripides
For me, the “Celebrate your milestones” tip would be on top. I often get too focused / stressed on the bad and forget about some of the good things I’ve accomplished.
I hate to admit this but I am one of those people who have low self-esteem when I was a teenager. I am very shy and quiet then out of the blue I realize that having that characteristic will affect my life to be a successful in my field that’s why I decided to change it. Now I am happy to say that I am now confident with my self! I do wish people out there would also do the same and follow those tips that listed here.
Nice tips, “Mingle with right kind of people’ I think this will really help…